Estimates gone (going) bad

[Greg Di]

Fellas,

After much reading here, I always try to pre-qualify my leads on the phone before humping out to go look at a job. Occasionally, I blow it and find myself literally holding my breath in some cat-lady's house while I stumble over 30 years of newspapers in her dirty, stinky house. I guess my point is that sometimes, money or not, you know you wouldn't do a job for ANY price once you get a look at the prospective customer.

In the cat lady instances, I felt it necessary to be polite, take measurements and notes, the whole time I know damn well, I would never do the job and would probably never get back to her.

I just had another instance where I received a referral and the job was too far away for me to do. When I called the person to tell them that I couldn't work for them due to the distance, the reply was "I'm a real estate agent, and I work all over the place." I told him that I always run multiple jobs and can't work out the logistics to be that spread out. But he wouldn't hear it. Now I look like a jerk. You just can't win I guess.

I'm sure this has happened to most of you out there. What's the best way to cut and run without being an ass?

[boulderscott]

Greg -

I would think the standard answer is to jack your prices way up and if they bite, you get paid very well... You could also say you're scheduled out until next year...

Or, how about hitting the bar before your appointment?

Tell your prospective client that you love cats. Dead ones.

How about an offensive racial joke?

Annectdotal stories about past lawsuites involving unhappy clients?

[jwork101]

Greg-

Just because the Realtor works all over....does that mean he/she is....

A) Smart, and gets return on serving 10 million communities rather than focusing on one they know...

B) Has to travel everyday to a jobsite with a truck, loaded full of tools that gets 12-18 mpg.

C) Understands his costs and time and how much of it he or she wastes by driving 100 miles to try to get something sold for a measly commission. (Only rich realtors I know didn't get rich from selling houses...but investing in them!)

Tell him you intimately understand your business and your costs and traveling outside of your range would just be a poor business decision unless it was going to yield you 90% gross margin. Wait, half the realtors out there couldn't define gross.

-J

[jwork101]

Did I mention Realtors are usually tire kickers?

So we could knock out this wall, extend the foundation out, add the kitchen space and eating area....
And so that would be how much?

Hmm.... about 45 large.....

WHAT? Thats ridiculous, how can my client afford this house and the remodeling?

Not my problem, get a realisitic budget! BUBYE!

-J

[Dancing Dan]

I wouldn't worry about looking like a jerk - just be polite but firm - better to be a jerk up front than to a) be another contractor who never gets back to the client, b) be saddled with a client who you didn't really want or c) worst of all, have to deal with someone repeatedly and never actually get any work out of it.

[Andrew R.]

Greg,
That is a good question. I found myself in one of those hoarding houses a couple years ago. I guess i could understand 1 person having this disease but a married couple, seemed like the odds would be against 2 people marrying with the same disease. In that case I told them the only way I could even price their job was to bring in dump trucks and temps for a week to throw away the trash. The lady started crying and I quickly left. Hopefully my honesty went somewhere with them. 2000 square foot house, my guess it needed at least 6 40 yard containers to empty the trash.

[jasoncring]

My skills dealing with cat ladies and others of her ilk are weak at best, as evidenced by the following bone chilling, testicle shriviling tale. It all actually happened, although this account cannot do justice to the horrors I witnessed.

About five years ago, I was subbing to a builder for new housing. Our relationship was young, and I was a little too keen to keep in his good books (don't ask me why, the rates were pretty average).

He asks me go to a renovation/extension client's house to repair some sagging ceilings in one of the seediest suburbs around. He tells me what the job is worth, and its not much.

I pull up, and there are two naked children in a front yard without too much grass poking out from under the garbage. The mum comes out the front door, and shouts at me. "What do you want!" The dress could have been a shower curtain, but no shower curtain could accept that many gravy stains down the front.

I ignore better judgement, and get out of the van. I explain who I am, and she lets me in, bellowing, "Somebody's come to work on the ceiling." Then (surly, hands on hips), "You know, you should have been here months ago!" I agree and apologize in the hope that she will stop speaking. The breath was toxic.

The husband enters, picking his path through the piles of garbage, some of it organic, which decorate the home. He appears to be wearing some form of pinstripe suit borrowed from Lucky Luciano, and then rejected by the Salvation Army - originally stark white except for thin blue stripes, now decorated by smudges and discolorations of all sorts and gravy stains. It is decidedly too small for him, in spite of the fact that he is about 5'8'', and does not seem to have eaten anything more substantial than gravy this year.

He's friendly. "Yeah, I had a go at sortin' her out me self, but I dunno... I think it was ready to come down, ya know...? The missus ain't happy. Ya reckon ya can get a new one up fer us, mate?"

In the room in question, half the ceiling is on the floor. The other half threatens to be shortly. The man bums three cigarettes from me as we discuss the job, and pockets my lighter every time.

"Yeah, if Stuart had gotten ya here sooner I wouldn't a'tried climbing up in the roof like I done. Almost fell to me death, ya know? Listen brother, he's a bit slow on the job these days cause I'm a bit behind, ya know? Tell ya what, if ya can help us out with a couple o hundred dollars just to keep him off me back, I'll give yuz a hand puttin up the new ceilin. Whadda ya say, mate?"

Two naked children streak the room while the mother bellows, "Put some f clothes on, you little fs!"

"Yeah... Look, I've just got to get down the the shop to pick us up some sheets. Shouldn't be more than about 20 minutes."
"Ya wantin a helper, mate?"
"No, no. I'll be OK. I'll be right back."

[dustinmckay]

I just tell cat ladies that my allergies are very severe, and I can't work on their house.

I'll travel pretty far for the right job, usually I just add estimated travel time, and fuel to the bill.

[AJinNZ]

Jason,

That was priceless!

I was once referred to a small bathroom job. Arranged a time and went for a look.

Nasty little flat, owners had recently moved in. On my arrival Mr Owner with a grubby white T shirt showed me in while Mrs Owner extracated herself from a sheepskin padded and much used lazyboy recliner. Its well used duplicate was beside it.

I was shown the bathroom. The 'problem' was the shower. It had to go, to be replaced with a bath.
Judging by the way Mrs Owner waddled I would bet a years pay that within 6 months of installation it would have to be swapped back.

I was also informed in a friendly way that '2 other blokes had come to look' and that the 'outfit they bought the unit off was really hard to get hold of, they had agreed before purchase to pay for the bathroom work'.

Every warning bell I had was clanging like you wouldnt believe.
I carefully took down all the details of those to contact RE: billing, under the happy gaze of the owners. Said goodbye and split.

I sent a message to the person who referred me and declined the work and said I wasnt going to submit a quote.
I figgured if asked she could do the explaining.

[kreg McMahon]

Great stories... look at it this way... that is was not a waste of time because it gives you and us a great story to laugh about for years to come... most of us have been to the same houses..... cat ladies are usually (in my opionion) devorced ladies who's husband left them... and they have replaced the man in their life with cats.

the most cats I have seen in a house was around 14 6 adults and 8 new babies... house stinks to high heaven..

[jasoncring]

AJ,
Boy, you're a picky one. They sounded like a couple of trustworthy types, and I'm sure you would have been paid eventually. Now you've missed the repeat work of switching back the bath to shower again. Spilt milk, though...

Kreg,
Just take her back. She won't need the 14 cats once you're back home.

A girl I had a crush on in high school had a gathering at her house once. Too many cats to count. Probably in the hundreds. The smell was so thick that it almost had a physical presence. Talk about a jolt back to reality.

[JAMES SNOW]

the most cats I have seen in a house was around 14 6 adults and 8 new babies... house stinks to high heaven..

Get some vicks and put it under your nose to mask the smell Kreg....one of my last calls before I retired was a "suspicious odor"....ended up being a deceased female that had passed the week before and her (at final count) 63 cats and 12 dogs were feeding on her corpse....even the fire guys were losing lunch....strange it took a week for the neighbors to call huh???

[Fredremodeler]

As an employee, I had to actually work on one of these houses. When the carpet went into the dumpster, the whole culdesac stank. We ended up stripping the first 4 feet of drywall and and the carpet tack, and saturating the slab and everything with clorox and natures miracle and every other product available. After the addition and reno were complete, the cats came out of the garage, and guess what...

-Fred

[Al (Ca.)]

Cats are very clean animals and they always cover and hide their body waste.
The problem is the pet owners who don’t remove their pet’s litter, consequently the place smell like hell.
Imagine yourself going on with out showering and disseminating your body waste all over the house.
Don’t you think that you and your house will smell just as bad?

I live with two cats and this Saturday I am adding a third one, a gift from a client.
This new cat and my older cat Charlie will delight me with the most spectacular wrestling matches I could imagine.
My new cat's name will be Negro.
Here is a picture of this nine months old champion.

When you see too many cats in a house take some home with you, make them part of your family and they will reward you with joy and longevity in return for taking care of them.

[kreg McMahon]

Jasoncring... okay! I'll take her back....LOL

AL,
What happens when your cat gets lost....looking around the neighborhood and people ask what are you doing... and you say I am looking for negro?......

I have found cat owners do not know that there house smells... just like most people who smell don't know they smell.. cats also "Spray" on the walls etc...

Posted By AL:
"When you see too many cats in a house take some home with you"

Well Guys we now know where to take the cats to!